Sometimes, I think my family thinks me weak for staying. I am often told, I don't know how you do it...every now and then I hear that so and so said, that I should leave, that I should just move on. I don't know how to tell them that although its hard at the best of times, I don't stay because I am weak...I stay because I am strong. I stay because the most obvious choice is not always the right one...I stay because I choose to and not because I would feel lost without him. My staying is a choice...and its a choice I make every day and perhaps one day that decision will be different...
I have never been able to explain that adequately though, until I saw this qoute from community:
"The meaning of self-esteem
Abed: Britta, I've got self-esteem falling out of my butt. That's why I was willing to change for you guys. When you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn't such a big deal. (Season 1, Episode 17, "Physical Education")"I have never watched the show - but it inspired me. I am strong enough to see this thing through to the end...I am not to weak to leave. I am not a walk over...I am steady in the storm, holding out for the long term reward instead of jumping ship for short term relief...I am not stupid nor naive...I am smart and a visionary, understanding that somethings require sacrifice at great personal cost - so that in the fullness of time, my family and I will be blessed. I don't stay for him...I stay for me.
For those of us, who choose to stay and do battle - I salute you for your courage even when the world doesn't always understand why...
