Money and Infidelity

My husband was my world. I wanted him to be happy, so I bought him the things he wanted even though I could barely afford it. In my world, that's what you do when you love someone - you show them how special they are, by giving them the desires of their heart. So I bought him the huge ass TV and Blue-ray player that I am still paying off today. If I had known about his need to fuck anything that walks, I could have saved myself some money and just bought him a prostitute - maybe we could even worked out a financial plan - like for every 12 sessions you buy, get one free or something...

Wow, I get a free STD as well...super ;-)

But you know what pisses me off the most? Its the fact that I took out the loan to get married to this jerk...and yes, I am still paying it off. I think about how he must have laughed at me, behind my back when I signed the paperwork. You see, I thought that when he proposed and took out a (much smaller) loan for us to get our own place - I mistakenly took it as a sign of commitment to me. What it really was a sign of, was his committment to watching as much porn and having as much online sex as he could handle. Apparently, being in his mothers house just didn't give him the kind of environment he needed...

It messes me up to think, that I was so gaga over him. I was thrilled because we had gotten our first new place - I saw sunshine and rainbows, while he was looking at tits and ass. I feel taken in...like he made a fool out of me. I was the butt of his lame joke  and I contributed financially for it.


Never again will I put myself financially on the line for him. Don't ask me, what I'm going to get him for christmas.Going from gifts worth thousands of rands, to what? A Musica voucher worth R150?

Besides all that, is that fact that I gave him full access to my accounts. I trusted him with me card and salary. He no longer enjoys that privilege. The kind of man who will cheat on his 7 month pregnant wife, is the kind of man that would steal from her. I remember a conversation I had with  my mom, she was dismayed that I trusted him so freely with my hard earned money - I thought she was crazy. After all, we were in love and he would never take advantage of me - what an idiot I was.

My husband was so offended, when I told him that I no longer want him anywhere near my money. "I have never taken any of it" he said...so he even treats my money with more respect than what he treated my body. I am so tired of being on the bottom of his list, so you know what...fuck his list, because

Now, he will need to pay. If there are loans that need to be taken out - he can do it. Facing divorce, I took a look at my precarious financial position and never never never again and will I do this to myself!

If you can't trust someone with your heart and body - you can't trust them with your finances!