Learning to Live with Less

Every now and then I trawl through the male perspective on how it felt to be cheated on...I came across that one sentence amongst  all the angst " I am learning how to live with less" and it broke my heart, because thats it, isn't - we are all learning how to live with less...

Some might argue that, while we have less- at least its honest...but still. The truth can't stop the cloying feeling of loss.

Last night, something to 1 in the morning I went through his phone. I don't what I expected to find...I know he doesn't use his phone to cheat, but I couldn't stop myself from just checking.... I signed up for a social site he used to use, to see if he was on there and 5 minutes later deleted the account having found nothing...I wish I could just shut it all away.

I want to take my son and drift off in fields of golden sunshine, where I provide everything he could ever need and I would be free from this constant feeling of doubt

When we first got married, our future stretched before us---boring, but predictable and now it seems like every other month I am wondering if divorce is on the cards. Not because his cheating, but because doubt has exhausted me.

I dream of paying a woman to come on to him, just to see what he would do. Why wait for years, when I could find out right now what kind of man he has decided to be.

I don't know what tomorrow holds - torn between my dreams of old and hazy future- I am learning to live with less...now if only I can teach my heart to be satisfied with that...

His ex Abby Jacobs has moved back into town

Slut looks as Slut does..this was posted to facebook for the world to see

 So I understand that my husbands ex mistress is back in cape town. Thats right, she could be lurking around the next corner. There is a part of me that hopes we run into each other...and I hope her husband is with her.