Gmail chat and Skype porno accounts

There is an unfortunate truth that in the world we live in, escaping basic technology is impossible. We use all these different platforms at work to chat and meet online to talk business...but what happens when your partner is using it as a cover for all the random bullshit they get up to.

To my knowledge hubby has at 2 gmail accounts, 1 afrihost email account (because its for our internet) and 1 skype account. Now to me its really possible that he has more then these because life has taught me not to trust what I see... but I have had to embrace the fact that there are some things out of my control. Anyways, so things have relatively been going okay, but lately the little camera icon on gmail chat has been getting my attention.

Is he using gmail chat to pick up chicks? To talk to female work colleagues...and what is worse is that the little green dot sometimes turns into a camera icon. Does mean his chatting to someone. He swears his not talking to anyone, but why would the little dot change to the camera icon is he wasn't using it? I checked out his account of course no history of anything...whats going on? Is he lying to me yet again...am I being blind? What the hell is going on.

Its fucking driving me insane. I feel the rage and bile rise up in the back of my throat and I am tense enough to pull a muscle in my neck....what is he doing? WHO IS HE SPEAKING TO??

He loves chatrooms, that much has become very clear to me. Is gmail chat just to alluring to ignore?

I tried to google what it means when the little green dot changes to the camera and all they say, is that shows that the person has an camera and use it chat....it doesn't say that its activated when they do chat. FUUUUUCK.

Maybe he isn't cheating...but the suspicion of it, is enough to end a marriage. Its to much to bear, since the little green camera has caught my eye, I keep on dreaming about him meeting women for lunch...I dream that his bored at work and this is how is he spending his time...chatting. Its tormenting me and I can't let it go... I won't be betrayed again.

My lips are dry and my eyes ache with tiredness. I feel like a child strapped in the back seat of a car going to nowhere, begging the question- are we there yet? But noone answers...

I am alone in the backseat in a car destined for hell..

To Thailand with love

Dear Thailand

In two weeks my husband and I are paying you a lovely  visit. Its meant to indicate a fresh start in our marriage and has seemed appropriate since he started acting out when I last visited without him. I can't tell you how many times I have regretted that, but whats done is done and I have said my goodbyes to the fiance I knew when he dropped me off at the airport. The man waiting for me when I got back was a different story...

So here is the deal - I need help.

I thought that this would be a fresh start, but more and more I realise that there is no "start date" to rest of my life. I am still paralyseyd with fear in quite moments, when I wonder if his cheating. I still rage when an sms notification goes off on his phone and I don't instantly know who it is. The other day, riddled with bitterness I blogged about an old mistress of his, hoping that her family and friends would read it... I still long to know what his doing 24/7 and I don't think our trip to Thailand is going to change that.

So help me build good memories...memories that will outlast the pain of the years behind me. Give me photographs that I can look at without wondering who was he doing when it was taken...give me songs for the soundtrack of our lives that belong to just us and that I don't have to share with another woman's memory. I still grieve the fact that there are some artists that I can no longer listen to because while I dedicating those songs to him in my heart, he was thinking of someone else.

I know that you have dangers...only a fool would not realise the strong sex trade that happens within your borders. I remember smells from street carts and the ageless women eagerly offering me and my dad  "massages" at neon lit parlours.  Its unavoidable, but help us to be wise about areas that we shouldn't go into. Phuket is already off the list and some road called Soi Cowboy, that apparently are hotspots...when my family went, we managed to avoid this sort of thing, please help me to do it again.

Give us adventure and romance...enough for me to rebuild my dreams around. Enough for us to fall in love again....

See you soon
XXX

Miss Abby Jacobs - the blueprint of a tramp

 

Miss Abby Jacobs ---found her twitter account. She wants to know what Jesus would do...I bet he wouldn't try to f*ck a married man.

I am so tempted to let her network know of the kind of woman she is...the kind that slipped my husband her phone number last year (2012) so that they could catch and chat about the good ol' days.

I wonder if she ever regrets it...I wonder if she still is cheating on her partner with whatever man allows her to go down on him.

I wish I could tell that she should go and get herself tested- after all, my husband was making the rounds with prostitutes and strangers from chat rooms.  A HIV test would be a good idea, if I were her. If you know this woman, perhaps pass along the pamphlet.

My husband is an asshole and I blame him for every sordid thing his done - but thats not to say, that I resent the fact that when he cheated, he cheated with the office cum dump site.

Eeeuuww!