I cried with joy when I found out that I was pregnant and then I cried because I wasn't sure if my husband could be the man I needed him to be. When I told him, he teared up and hugged me with joy and immediately made the promise that this time will be better...this time he would be faithful.
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Things have been going really really well. For Christmas he made me a jewellery box...he actually spent time on something that was for me. 3 years ago that would not have happened - he barely had time to buy me a chocolate, but he worked at that thing for hours and now it has become one of the strongest statements of how much his changed. I will treasure it forever...
His doing well. He goes the extra mile to be transparent in all that he does, his kinder and patient. Sexually, his more giving. He was honest enough to tell me that he "helps" himself perhaps once a month - which I immediately translated to mean 2 or 3 times, but he keeps it low so that our intimacy can grow and that my needs are met as well as his...a far cry from the man who used to touch himself in the shower so often that our sex life became an after thought.
But there will always be this thought in the back of my mind, that he says he can't be trusted and I am learning to make my peace with that. The idea that a good relationship can only exist in a relationship with a 100% trust isn't true. I think you can have a great relationship where you can trust yourself a 100% and maybe him...80% plus. He will never regain my full trust, but that is for the best.
Sooo, so far so good. Maybe this time will be different after all...
