Gmail chat and Skype porno accounts

There is an unfortunate truth that in the world we live in, escaping basic technology is impossible. We use all these different platforms at work to chat and meet online to talk business...but what happens when your partner is using it as a cover for all the random bullshit they get up to.

To my knowledge hubby has at 2 gmail accounts, 1 afrihost email account (because its for our internet) and 1 skype account. Now to me its really possible that he has more then these because life has taught me not to trust what I see... but I have had to embrace the fact that there are some things out of my control. Anyways, so things have relatively been going okay, but lately the little camera icon on gmail chat has been getting my attention.

Is he using gmail chat to pick up chicks? To talk to female work colleagues...and what is worse is that the little green dot sometimes turns into a camera icon. Does mean his chatting to someone. He swears his not talking to anyone, but why would the little dot change to the camera icon is he wasn't using it? I checked out his account of course no history of anything...whats going on? Is he lying to me yet again...am I being blind? What the hell is going on.

Its fucking driving me insane. I feel the rage and bile rise up in the back of my throat and I am tense enough to pull a muscle in my neck....what is he doing? WHO IS HE SPEAKING TO??

He loves chatrooms, that much has become very clear to me. Is gmail chat just to alluring to ignore?

I tried to google what it means when the little green dot changes to the camera and all they say, is that shows that the person has an camera and use it chat....it doesn't say that its activated when they do chat. FUUUUUCK.

Maybe he isn't cheating...but the suspicion of it, is enough to end a marriage. Its to much to bear, since the little green camera has caught my eye, I keep on dreaming about him meeting women for lunch...I dream that his bored at work and this is how is he spending his time...chatting. Its tormenting me and I can't let it go... I won't be betrayed again.

My lips are dry and my eyes ache with tiredness. I feel like a child strapped in the back seat of a car going to nowhere, begging the question- are we there yet? But noone answers...

I am alone in the backseat in a car destined for hell..