Mugg and Bean for adulterers

So I love Mugg and Bean - its this coffee house with the BEST food and coffee in a relaxed environment and I must say that I have become pretty bitter about the fact that my husband took one of his harlots there.

I haven't been able to go close to a M&B in years now...and last night I made the mistake of thinking that I was over it. So post valentines day, the after glow of a exploring love I had thought that would be fine to go for a cup coffee with my husband. BAD MOVE!

The minute my butt sat on that chair and looked across at him, it all flooded back. I gazed at him and wondered how excited he must have been...how charming and eager to please. And I cried right there and then in a shopping mall with people walking past and everything. I tried to cry pretty tears but it become evident that that wasn't going to happen. Every time I looked at my husband,  a fresh batch of salty water trickled down my eyes. So I figured if I could just keep my head down it would be fine, and for a second it worked- but I would glance up when I thought I had regained control only to cry again.

We got out of there as fast as we could and I cried in the car the whole way home. I told him that Im not going to make a deal of it - I have said all there is to say and I have asked all my questions - its just that at times, the grief is so overwhelming that all I can do is cry.

My mind I saw this picture of a thousands of little pieces of mirror twinkling in the darkness...it was my heart. I was wrong, when I thought it was fixed...

Does it ever go away - the scar that that infidelity leaves, the pain of betrayal and loss.

I asked myself why I was crying, its not like our relationship was going all that great in the first place. Why cry for something that I wouldn't ever want again... and Mrs Jones came onto the radio and I totally lost my shit and bawled like baby in the front seat of our car.I think I almost broke the radio in trying to switch it off.

I looked at the thick inky blackness of my husbands hair and wondered how many fingers have run through it...I wondered if he missed any of it.

At any rate, I think its fairly safe to say that my beloved Mugg and Bean needs to be taken off the list of restaurants I can go to...and that aint right...