My friends 8 month old marriage is falling apart. They had dated for a year and felt that they were so in love that marriage was the logical next step - him being 21 and she being 28 at the time apparently a non issue. We tried to tell them to wait, but they felt that they could handle anything and that whatever changes happens they would be able to face together...
For months now they have been fighting - apparently he can't handle the fact that she had a child by a recovering drug addict before they met. He now wants a divorce. What I don't understand is that pre-marriage this wasn't a problem, as a matter of fact he loved my friends little girl as if she was his own - but now apparently all it does is remind that she had this sexual relationship with someone he deems as unworthy and it grosses him out.Things have slid to the extent that they no longer talk to each other about where they are going...last week he came home reeking of wine...she has gone to out without letting him the know the usual where, who and what...
Still, I believed that things can be saved - for us the betrayed - we know about resurrecting things from the dead - but for the first time yesterday I heard the faint sound of a death knell. She got in contact with he ex boyfriend, who she has always loved. He cheated on her with a close friend as well as co-worker. She had a breakdown and left him - but she has never been quite able to move on. And now they are back in contact. Over the years she has forgotten the pain and misery and instead remembers all the good things he did and I know she has wondered what would have happened if she stayed...
She insists that its just for closure...but its a slippery slope. I would contend that closure can be found in oneself- you don't need the perpetrator...not really. So she is at a cross roads - she is no longer the innocent - both of them unwilling to actually find a counsellor and be the better person. Maybe they should get divorced - they are hurting no one but themselves...
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