His installed a tracking programme on his phone

So while I am still processing the whole cousin in jail thing...my husband has moved back into our bedroom. Its been a weird space for me. He stood at the door, with his pillow folded against his chest and asked if he could come back. He had done all he promised to do, since our revisiting of our agreement...but I have been afraid. I have been afraid that once again his lying...that his managing to pull the wool over my eyes and I will be led down the proverbial garden path. There is nothing he can do to assure me that this is not the case...in fact I feel like- never again will I ever assume my husbands fedility...instead I would need to change how I see my future.

The hardest part is embracing the unknown. I am a planner. I plan for this and that...I have lists and contingencies for just in case. I am constantly calculating the costs of mistakes and weighing the options on how to move forward towards success...I have been struggling to do with my marriage. My head tells me, that once a cheater always cheater. That if I stay, I will regret it...because eventually he will let me down again, regardless of he says now. There is so much to lose if I stay...and yet I believe that the rewards could be phenominal if I stay and he remains faithful and our relationship goes from strength to strength...there is so much joy and happiness that could be waiting on the other side- but I haven't been able to reconcile the rewards with the risk that I would be taking if I stayed. Until I saw this pic, the other day:

I stilled and finally I felt at peace. The right question at the right time, is as a good as gold. I can't know what the future holds, regardless of how much I plan, debate and review our agreements...but in my heart I know that this is the right thing to do.  Perhaps my right thing will be different in the years to come, but for now - the right thing is to try again.

So as he stood there, pillow in hand - I asked him if he would faithful and honest- of course he said yes. He held me close...perhaps knowing how close he came to being permanently asked to live in the 2nd room.

On saturday, he says he has something to show me and shows me this tracking programme on his phone and mine, so that I could always see where he was. Of course I stood there and thought, well he could have a second phone or he could "forget" his phone at work while he does heaven knows what...but I decided to be gracious and accept it for what it seems...a peace offering from an imperfect man to an imperfect woman.


"‘The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former,’ says the LORD of hosts, ‘and in this place I will give peace,’ declares the LORD of hosts.”Haggai 2:9