Two skype accounts

I have never been much of a game player when it comes to relationships. I am more of a "wearing your heart on your sleeve" kind of girl. I can't help but be transparent...its to hard for me to keep up a lie.
So yesterday, when I discovered that my husband has another active skype account that weird pain in my chest started up again, but I didn't cry. I am tired of crying...

So I came up with this elabourate plan on how I was going to catch him out, but this morning in the car - cool as can be putting on my make up- I asked him. I notice you have two skype accounts - what would do expect me to do this with this? I didn't shed a tear...I didn't raise my voice. Mascara wand in hand, carefully inking my lashes...I waited for his answer and my heart sunk as I heard the hesitation in his response. I wondered if my marriage had finally run its course.

At first he didn't remember a thing..then he mentioned that maybe it was the account with his name on it. I just looked at him. He said that maybe it was an account he had to opened for his old job...I didn't answer. I asked him again, why do you have two skype accounts. And then he said the words that seems to be one of the porn addicts catch phrases...oh I forgot about that one. I didn't realise I still had it. I remember him telling me at the time he needed to open up a skype account at his boss's request...what I don't understand is that why is it still active? Did he really have so many accounts, that he has no idea of what his deleted and what his kept?

Do I believe him? No...

How does a recovering porn addict forget one of his online chat accounts? I am so tired of being disappointed in him. Why can't he just do what he says his going to do? Why does everything have to be such an uphill battle?

I then asked him, how much time does he want before he gets back to me, about what we are going to do about whats happended. He said he doesn't know what I am expecting him to say...I said...I will give you till Thursday.

Guys, I am tired. I am tired of feeling foolish even if this second account is an unfortunate left over from the past. I don't know what he has to say in order for me, not to move him to our second room. Its all just to much for me...I am exhausted with uncertainty and I am tired of the games we play.

The thought has crossed my mind as whether he is a porn addict or whether his just a narcisstic pathological liar. I don't know which one is worse...but maybe if he was just a plain ol liar it would be easier for me to let go. With an addict you hold out that with work recovery everything will turn out fine. With a liar, there is no chance of that.

So we will see how the week unfolds. I wonder if his just not going to say anything. Thats how he usually reacts. His uses silence as a defence and waits for me to make all the moves. Well if he does that again, his not going to like the consequences.

"A glooming peace this morning with it brings. The sun for sorrow will not show his head. Go hence and have more talk of these sad things. Some shall be pardoned, and some punished. For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo"