Pee like a lady...

My mother taught me many things. She taught me how to walk like a lady , how to sit like a lady, which knife and fork to use and when, even  which words and tone to use...she taught me how be the perfect lady and yes, she taught me how to pee like one too i.e. in order to avoid the vulgar splashing sound, when others are within hearing range - line the bottom with some loo paper LOL !

Image becomes really important, when its all you have to get ahead.

My mom however never mentioned some other life saving tips, that I have needed to find out on my own. Like how attention from a man feels great, but it could endanger your relationship. So how do you let a guy down, when his great and you enjoy being in his company - but its dodgy, because of how partner might feel about it.

So last night, while feeling vulnerable about my husband attending his staff party - wouldn't you believe that I get a "LinkedIn" invitation from that guy who was here a couple of weeks ago? We got on really well. While I didn't find him physically attrative, his interest me felt amazing. But like a good girl, I declined his invitation to dinner. I "lost" his card and ignored his invite to search for each other on LinkedIn - but hells bells, in my inbox currently sits an invite to be connected.

Now I could be misreading him and maybe his simply a nice guy, but I can't afford to take that chance. Feeling rather pleased with his interest (enough to actually look for me, after silence on my end), for a second I was tempted to not tell my husband and just accept the guy as a connection. Fortunately, sanity reigned and I realised three NB things

1) If I am to hold my husband accountable with intergrity, I need to disclose what is happening and what I am going to do about it. Not only do I expect full disclosure from my husband as well and therefore should role-model it- but without this, I lose my moral standing and thats all I got right now. Plus, if things go sour, I want to be able to look my husband in the face and say - this is what I contended with, these are choices I had made to protect our marriage. Pack up your shit and go...maybe I will even have the tune "R.E.S.P.E.C.T" playing in the background...

2) When you are feeling low and vulnerable, the devil attacks. Sitting there, feeling sorry for myself - I get an invite from some guy, who potentially could wreck the fragile beginnings again of our marriage.Unbelievable...

3) Lastly, wow do you politely tell someone who may or may not be interested in you, that you are not interested? I was brought up having to kiss uncles and aunties even though I felt uncomfortable, because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. I was taught to politely nod and smile, when even the most asinine opinion was offered by someone else. We must strive to not hurt other peoples feelings. We want everyone to like us. Smile, laugh, flirt a little and be soft and understanding in all communication, lest you seem agressive and unladylilke... We simply do not do outright rejection. So now, as a grown ass woman, I feel uncomfortable "rejecting" a perfectly nice person -who I was friendly towards (I had to as part of relationship building for my company) and maybe took it the wrong way...

I wonder what my mother would say...

But for now I think I will just politely delete his invitation and hopefully we never run into each other again...