Surprise! I booked a lie detector test...

My husband has surprised me, by booking his own lie detector test on Saturday.

In the beginning of this year, I made no bones about my expectations that I would require a lie detector test. However, I wasn't going to drive myself crazy and I told him that I would leave it up to him. So if he doesn't want to, thats okay...but just as he has his choices, I have mine.

My family would be shocked to know that I have asked for a second polygraph - but they wouldn't understand. My husband, who I have shared a bed with for the past four years has learnt how to lie. 

He has lied and lied and lied. I was completely blind-sided by his ability to weave story upon story-who knew my IT geek of a husband could be so creative. Oh how he cried and cried while fabricating some bullshit, for me to buy into. He led me down a fictitous path, laying down a false trail of trickle truth. Often I would be journeying with him, only to find that something didn't sound right and down the next rabbit hole we would go as he changed course. He lied to save himself and then he lied to save "us" and all it did, was break down our relationship further...

The original lie detector test, brought him to his knees and stopped all of that. In the habit of lying, he tried to be "honest" after realising how serious I was - only to lay down another lie and than when I stated we were going ahead - wow, did the shit hit the fan.  I have no doubt, my husband would have continued lying to me if he could. I believe we would have been divorced today, if he been provided the space to continue doing so. The lie detector test, was a watershed event.

Maybe my dad should have done this too!

He failed his first test, not wanting to tell the guy that he had been with a prostitute (which is illegal over here). So his test came back negative. I was hurt, but I made the call to give him a year. Even if he hasn't been completely honest about everything he has done - for me I realised the point was, whether he would be able to stop. So I swallowed the little bit of pride I had left. Told him I understood, deciding that I wouldn't tell him this, but I was prepared to give him a year.A year to show me whether he has the ability to either a) stop trying to screw everything that moves b) whether he would be able to tell me the truth, if he slipped up.

At the beginning of this year, I told that I would like him to take a lie detector test. He was surprised, but agreed. I told him that I didn't want anything to do with it, he needs to organise it. And then I waited to see what he would do. Would he try to convince me that it wasn't needed (like the last time) or would a spring of new deceptions spill out.

I waited and nothing happened. I had that conversation in January and it is now May. I decided that if by July, nothing was forthcoming I would leave, because I am not spending my 30th birthday in a marriage with a tramp. Last night, he told me he wanted to surprise me and thats why he hasn't spoken about it - he wanted to pay for it himself, and now that he has the money, he has booked a polygraph for saturday.

He has asked me what questions I want to give the guy, but all I have is one " Have you been faithful to me since April 2011". My entire future depends on the answer to this one question. If he fails again, I will not be so understanding as I was the last time. I have decided whatever filthy secrets he has kept, he can keep - I am ready to move on...if he passes.

He will be paying R1000 for the polygraph...seems like a lot for just one question, but what is R1000 when compared to the value of what we could have...

Wish me luck...

Xena!