Free e-cards

Yesterday, my husband sent me a free e-card. I stared at my inbox confused as my heart skipped a beat. He sent me something...he thought of me at point during his day and sent me something to show for it...that hasn't happended in a looong time.

I followed the link and the most shmaltzy thing I have ever seen leaped at me..definitely outside of his comfort zone. It was on par with getting a greeting card and but the only thing of him on that card was his sign off "Mwah"...elated at first - I went from there to spitting mad in a split second. I raged in my own head about how many other e-cards he could have sent out to other women?? It wasn't personal enough, it wasn't good enough...but then I reminded myself that this was big step for him. His so entrenched in his own selfishness that its a big deal for him to send me something...anything remotely emotional. And for that reason alone, I allowed myself to just accept it for what it was. A first step possibily to something greater...still mad at him for dickdom, but understanding that it was a now or never moment, I sent him one back to say thank you.

Yesterday, in car we spoke about this asshole who ran away from home because he was having problems in his marriage. This jackass faked his own high jacking, had the country looking for him - only for him to admit that he was struggling in his marriage and he wanted to see what his wife would do - then preceeded to sms his 15 year old daughter "Help hijacked" and left his car in the middle of nowhere - his now on the run from the police, because they want to arrest him for perjury. My husband casually included into the conversation, that he doesn't understand why men hurt their own families like this. Why don't men realise that the decisions they make hurt the ones they love ...they understand the toll it takes on the families..his backhanded way of apologising for the hurt his caused...his become a master at those.

He sent one again today -an e-card with an actual sentence from him saying that I was the most precious thing to him in the whole world. Maybe he did get it after all? You don't need money to say you care... Well we'll see if this is just some sort of temporary appeasement or will he be able to make this as part of his communication style with me.

I hope it is...right now a free-e card is all that stands between us the unknown.

I wonder if I'll get one tomorrow...I would like that...