Playing chess with an escort

Loneliness became my constant companion. We, the betrayed are alone in our relationships, even when our partners are standing right next to us. We feel it and we try to explain it away.

I remember a favourite fantasy of mine was dreaming of hiring an escort and playing chess him (always one consistent faceless guy) - we would talk about life and about current affairs in the news. He would think I was beautiful and I would feel safe and secure in our "relationship" because I knew he was only there for the money and no expectations of him. And that was what I would dream about - That we would go to some beautiful room by the sea, sit across from each other  and play chess and talk. That should have been a sign about how lonely I was...

Our dreams tell us so many things, if only we would listen more...