Flute

I am a super geek and I love it. When I was younger I played the flute. I remember practising for hours on end. I must have driven my parents insane...but there came a time, when I was described as a virtouso.

My romanian teacher, a man given to mood swings and making sudden wild gestures with his hands would often close his eyes during our sessions. I think he thought he looked like he was losing himself in my music. I think its because he was wondering how a man with a music doctorate was teaching high school music LOL But he brought out the best in me...and often to avoid his CRAZY temper, I played and played so that he could be proud of me. I adored him and he thought I was amazing. I don't think about him often, but he left an indelible mark on how I turned out to be.

He stood up for me, when some judge thought I wasn't expressive enough. He literally got up from his chair in a room full of people and shat on this guy was from a dizzy height. He apologised to me, when he complained about students not paying their fees - me being one of them. He was so human with all his flaws, but he created the most beautiful sounds.

I remember the day I had to give back my flute. I was renting it from the school, because we couldn't afford to buy one. That was my flute for 5 years...and after my last music exam which I played my heart out...I wiped it clean and put it in its case and handed it back. I felt naked and at such a loss...my flute, my heart was gone. I mourned for a short while, but then I met my husband and I had a new passion outlet.

The sound of a flute would tease my memory and finally this year I decided to buy my own flute. Of course my tone doesn't exist, neither does my ability to carry a note for any particular length of time. But my fingers feel at ease on the silver plated keys...the curve of my lip warms to the metal and all at once, I remember- that I could be what I once was. A girl who simply enjoys making music...something that I was good at and perhaps now is a good time for me to remind myself of that.

On thursday I am playing alongside my opera singer mother. I hope I don't screw it up!