Working late

There is very little these days that will get the same widly pissed off immediate emotional response, then the phrase " I need to work late".

About an hour ago, he tells me that his so upset about it and his sorry but his boss just told him that he needed to finish fixing a laptop before he goes home.  Maybe its true...or maybe his fucking some tramp.

I am so tense, my shoulder muscles are hurting. Is he working or isn't he? 2 years ago I would have applauded him for his work ethic, but all I want to do now is to scream at him to leave. To bugger off...all because I can't trust him. Its taken over my being and I can't even focus, so instead of working - I am blogging instead. Maybe it will help to left off more steam...

I will never forget what happened with the latest slut he tried to sleep with. Heavily pregnant, I was at home and tired. I called him to ask him how his day was going. He was non-committal...but made a point of telling me that he would need to stay late for his staff party. That he didn't really want to go, but boss was going to be there and he had to. That night my husband spent the night chatting up some girl who he had just finished high school. He says nothing happened...I don't believe him.

So now here we are...working late again and I just want fucking take a lamp to his head...possibly burn his shit down and tell him to move out.

I know he doesn't have to wait for after hours to cheat and he has proven himself quite adept and targeting the office ho during office hours...but still...I know its the illusion of control, but I cling to his work hours...that he works between 8-4 and thats it.

How do other women do this? How do manage a marriage, when you can't trust your partner?